Misandry is a myth. The Webster’s dictionary defines misandry as “a hatred of men”. Butt hurt cis men with their fragile boy-egos scream and shout that misandry is the opposite of misogyny. Pray tell, how is the anger of the oppressed equivalent to something that enforces systematic oppression?
For misandry to be the antonym of misogyny, it needs to lead to social exclusion of cis men, gynocentrism, belittling of cis men, violence towards cis men, and the constant sexual objectification of cis men. Do we see any of that happening because #MenAreTrash is trending? Do we see cis men being harassed in broad daylight? Do we see cis men being shamed or mocked based on their interests? Do we see cis men getting side lined for the same job as misogyny affected people? Do we only see misogyny affected people in positions of power? We don’t.
Misandry is not sexism towards cis men or reverse sexism. Just like reverse racism, reverse sexism simply cannot exist. Sexism is structured prejudice and discrimination. Sexism gives birth to victim blaming, slut shaming, objectification and violence. It promotes a view that women are properties of men, usually their fathers and then this ownership is transferred to a husband when the time comes. Tweeting “I hate men” does not actually harm men. It does not take away their rights, it does not lead to them being raped or killed for being at the wrong place at the wrong time or trusting the wrong person. In fact, the person who tweeted that could have been harassed at their workplace that day, if they were allowed to work at all. Or maybe they were catcalled in the streets or received a beating from their husband. Or maybe they were just angry with how they’re treated in general.
Misogyny and patriarchy are deeply intertwined with each other, and these entities exist in real life. Patriarchy coddles cis men; it gives them an easy pass simply because they are…cis men. Meanwhile, women and misogyny affected people find it extremely difficult to take a stand in political or economic fields and the very few that do manage to find themselves there are often rich, upper-class women. When the minority has been subjected to discrimination and subjugation over generations and are still struggling to break free from the shackles of the system that ties them down, they are allowed to be angry. They have every right to hate the oppressor. They are allowed to react, and this reaction is what is termed as misandry.
Regardless of dictionary definitions, the way these concepts are translated to existence matters. And this is what misogynists, with their tiny, narrow minds rely on. We see cis men whine about feminists being man-haters, but does this “man-hating” cause them any real discomfort in their personal or professional life? All it does is hurt their ego. These are the same people who say, “we need equality not feminism”.
These cis men are aware of their privilege and are so afraid of being treated the way they treat women and other misogyny affected people that they use any petty means to paint feminists as irrationally angry, vengeful, man hating witches. To any argument, born out of personal experience, backed by statistics or those that’s made the headlines, these men will say- with a very straight, even smug face- “not all men”. Yes, my dear sir, not all men. Definitely, not all men, and I- the oppressed- apologize for offending you because you are, I assume, one of the nice guys. And yes, you are very much allowed to be hurt over my insensitive comment. Who are the snowflakes now?
Yes, feminists are angry and rightfully so. We use hash tags that could be perceived as problematic, but are they really? Do feminists go around constantly objectifying and harassing others? No. Men do that. Men who do not see women as individuals with their own thoughts and aspirations do that. Men who believe that women exist solely for their pleasure do that. In contrast, among the individuals who circulate slogans such as “men are trash”, “kill all men”, “ban men” etc, is an angry sister who has to live under the shadow of her brother, a traumatized wife whose husband assaults her, an afab non-binary person who’s bullied online for their identity, a daughter who is pushed aside for not being born a son, an employee who feels unsafe in their work place, a mother who is only kept around for domestic work, a trans woman who’s called slurs on the street, a little girl who’s afraid to go to the park. Behind every angry tweet or “misandrist” comment is a misogyny affected person who has had enough.
This!!