Trigger Warning: Mentions of murder, rape, pedophilia and sexual violence
At some point in their life, almost everyone has had a true crime phrase. I had mine when I was thirteen, and it didn’t last quite long. One of the serial killers I read about was Richard Ramirez. To my horror, he wasn't only just that. He was also a serial rapist and a child molester - this is not unique to him. Many male serial killers, like Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer, did gruesome and traumatizing acts of violence to their victims before murdering them. Yet they’re commonly reduced to “serial killers” - leaving their other perverted crimes unspoken.
I guess a Netflix documentary about a “serial rapist” or a “child molester” would certainly get more backlash than one about a “serial killer”. This lesser awareness of their more sadistic crimes makes it easier for them to have media centered on them and to be used as humorous pop culture references. Aside from Hollywood’s strange fixation on them, they also have had female fan bases both in the present and in the past, when they were on trial and even while serving their sentences. Richard Ramirez and Ted Bundy are the biggest examples of this.
Ramirez used to get love letters in prison from his doting female fans. He ended up marrying one of the writers, Doreen Lioy. She seemed like a well adjusted, ordinary person who used to be a magazine editor. Yet she was completely enamored with a man who was in jail on charges of killing innocents, mutilating their bodies, and raping them. None of that seemed to matter to her. When asked about why she was with him, she answered to a reporter that she was struck by the “vulnerability” she saw in him. To give her a little (very little) credit, she did end up leaving him thirteen years later, after learning that he had molested a child.
Ted Bundy was another serial killer who ended up getting married to a female fan in prison. Let's not forget, this was someone who had confessed to killing, raping, and murdering over 30 women, and performing necrophiliac acts - and yet, he still had a dedicated female fanbase. Many of whom were desperate admirers and some who were hoping to get closer to him in an attempt to secure book or movie deals. Turns out that evil men’s side of the story about their own crimes is very profitable.
These days, you will find fans (even fan art) of Richard Ramirez and Ted Bundy by self proclaimed "hybristophiles" (people with sexual interest in those who commit crimes) on social media. There was a TIktok trend in 2019, where teenage girls would pretend to put on makeup and get ready for a date with Ted Bundy. Many boys would also pretend to be Bundy, “hunting” for their victims. All these videos received a positive reception with thirst comments and validation from viewers.
The media is partly responsible for this disturbing sexualization of serial killers - at least in our generation. The movies about Ted Bundy painted him out to be a charming, mysterious manipulator. When in reality, there wasn’t much charm or manipulation involved in his killings. He would pretend to be injured and ask women for help - taking advantage of their kindness - and attacking them when they lowered their guard to help him. Instead of being remembered as compassionate people, these women are now remembered as fools who fell for the charms of a cunning killer.
But while these men were on trial, serving prison sentences, and their crimes were being publicized, there was no such romanticization of them by the media. Yet they still had a great deal of female fans. Why?
It’s shocking to the ordinary person, especially to the ordinary woman, to imagine anyone being attracted to someone so dangerous, with so many sickening crimes. But this is just an extreme version of something that’s a bit common among women.
Dangerous men are frequently fawned over. A similar yet milder example that comes to mind is the “bad boy” trope in young adult and teen fiction. This includes the countless mafia romance stories on platforms like wattpad which are devoured by teenage girls. Excuses for predatory male behavior are something that every child has grown up hearing. Girls are taught to see it as acceptable or even sweet. Even if they recognize it as toxic, they often think they can change it. They can be that special person to teach him better. The idea that someone dangerous and evil could have a soft spot for them is flattering - the “I can fix him!” mentality as we call it now. All of this combined together leads to the romanticization of evil men. Women see them as misunderstood, someone that only they can truly understand and fix.
This mentality is mostly self-destructive as it kills women’s instincts for self preservation and ability to identify toxic behavior. But it also harms other women a lot. The women mentioned above adored serial killers and saw them as innocent or redeemable. In order to do this, they must have had to have seen the lives of the women those men murdered and raped as disposable. They must have justified it to some extent in their head. They must have thought there’s something different in them that the other women lacked.
Women are taught to scrutinize each other while reserving their empathy and solidarity for the men who harmed them. I can think of girls I know personally who stayed in the circles of abusers and predators, based on the positive qualities that they personally observed in them. They sound sickeningly similar to these women associated with the killers, offering positive descriptions of them and how they personally saw no sign of predatory behavior and ignoring the stories of the victims or thinking they aren’t like them, or that it can’t possibly happen to them.
Women like this are dangerous, maybe not as much as the men they align with, but enough that their behavior should be a serious red flag to all the other women in their lives. They are a product of the patriarchy, their behavior is what happens because of how women are socialized to view men as unconditionally redeemable and other women that they harmed as disposable. We need to squash this mentality at its root.
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